Why is it that when we brainstorm about solutions, we mostly think about ways to add? Why when I read the comments on the recipes in the Cooking section of the NY TImes, do they always tell about all the stuff they added to make it better? Why do writers sometimes think that more surprises, more plot events, more twists are necessarily better?
Why do we feel the need to add?
As humans, we have a bias toward adding. For one thing, when you add, you get credit for making a change. If you subtract, even if you make something better, it is unlikely to get noticed. Editors are notorious for wanting to subtract. They encourage writers to use fewer words, limit adverbs—give the reader just the essentials. It is one of the few professions where subtracting is the default a lot of the time. Since my work involves a fair amount of editing, I love the idea of the power of subtraction to make things better.
In my last newsletter, I wrote to you about backstory as sludge and how it can slow readers down. Using subtraction to make your writing better is a related concept. How much backstory do you need? Less than you think. How can you rewrite a sentence to make it both more beautiful and more meaningful, while at the same time using fewer words? You can, but it isn’t easy. The goal is to write beautiful words that make the reader want to slow down—not because they have to digest the family tree of your protagonist or the twenty names of the people in the room, but because they want to be fully present to experience the words. That is what the good use of subtraction can do for you.
If you want to see an example of some subtraction practiced on a passage generated by Chat GPT, keep reading…
The Power of Subtraction—EXAMPLE
CHAT GPT PARAGRAPH
In the dusky twilight of a sultry summer evening in the year of our Lord 1778, amidst the verdant and undulating hills that cradle the burgeoning yet beleaguered American colonies, there stood, poised with a graceful yet deliberate determination, a figure of striking resolve and ineffable beauty, a young woman of unparalleled fortitude and clandestine purpose. Eliza Harrington, a daughter of liberty and clandestine agent of the fledgling Revolutionary Army, traversed the perilous landscape of her divided homeland with the silent tread of a shadow and the fervent heart of a patriot. Yet, entwined within the labyrinthine corridors of her heart lay a treacherous secret, one that threatened to unravel the very fabric of her loyal convictions: a profound and forbidden affection for a dashing British officer, Captain James Everhart, whose azure eyes and gallant bearing had, against the dictates of duty and allegiance, ensnared her very soul in a web of ardent longing and inexorable passion. Thus, in the delicate balance between love and loyalty, espionage and enigma, did Eliza find herself ensnared, her every step a dance upon the razor’s edge of destiny. Word count 185
Revised Version
Eliza mopped the sweat from her neck with her kerchief. The cellar of the XXX Inn on the road between YYY and ZZZ offered slight respite from the oppressive August heat and the prying eyes of its patrons. James should have been here by now—she would have to return to her chores soon to avoid being missed.
She had intended a flirtation with the billetted British officer as a means to gaining information for the patriots, but found that she anticipated their meetings more than she should. She turned to go, tying her kerchief back around her neck. They would have to arrange another tryst. The soft click of the latch to the cellar door sounded and Eliza turned to greet the British captain from between the barrels of ale, but her smile froze when she saw that it was AAAA, not James, who had ventured into the cellar. Word Count 149
Which one makes you want to keep reading?
NOTE: The inspiration for this post came from listening to the Hidden Brain podcast, an episode entitled: Innovation 2.0—Do Less
Could you use some help simplifying your book idea or your story arc in revision? The One Pager Session will help you do that.