Do you remember that commercial a few years ago where the woman asked her significant other, “Do these jeans make my butt look big?”
What was he supposed to say? I mean if he thinks they do, and he says so, his life will be miserable for the foreseeable future. If he thinks they look great, no sweat, but then she might think he’s lying to keep from hurting her feelings. .
So really, it’s a no win situation.
When you ask the wrong people for feedback on your writing, it’s a no win situation, too. Your mom is always going to think everything you do is great, and even if she doesn’t know anything about your genre or about story structure, she’s going to think your book is one of the best ones she’s ever read. Your writing group might do a little better, but they still have conflicts. You will be reading their work, too, and they have to see you again in the future, so they may be incentivized to be vague or limit their feedback to grammar issues. And if we’re being honest, not all members of a writing group have the experience or training to evaluate story structure. Plus, maybe they only saw the second chapter and asked you a bunch of questions about why you didn’t write X, when X is in chapter one.
When you share your work for feedback, be selective. You do want praise, not just criticism, but you also want helpful criticism. Grammar pointers are not helpful when you are in the drafting phase, in fact they are useless. Early feedback needs to be big picture, with feedback on revised versions drilling down to more detail. Think about what you want your reader to look at and ask them an open ended question or two about your work.
When you ask someone whether those jeans make your butt look big, you need someone to tell you the truth, even if it isn’t what you want to hear. You can find the cut of jeans that works for your body type and looks good on you, just like you can work on your novel and make it a great story with the right feedback. If no one tells you the truth, though, you won’t know that something might need to change and you cannot be sure if you got real feedback or lip service. Getting real feedback is a win-win. You know what works and what doesn’t in your story. Plus, your reader gets to see what you’ve been spending all your spare time working on and make a connection with your writing.
Select the person who will tell you the truth in kindness to give you feedback, and you’ll find the jeans that make you look like a star. You will also improve your writing.
